Summertime and the livin' is easy!
summer has been great. during my week off at home i fought with my parents a total of 1 time...SHOCKING! i got a whole bunch of free stuff from barona, i bid my sister farewell towards Cambridge, and i got to reconnect with my cousins in los angeles! I think my favorite part about being at home besides the free food and being taken care of by my parents, was that I opened up to them about the past year or so of my life and how different of a person I am now than who I used to be. We talked for almost 2 hours on saturday night and everything i said came from my heart, they needed to be said and they were heard. Sometimes we forget how lucky and how good it feels to be back home with good old mom and dad but when we do realize it, it feels so good. Everytime i have one of these moments i appreciate the fact that i have a home to go back to and a mom and dad who love and support me. I couldn't be happier.
I watched slumdog millionaire again while at home with my parents and Juno with my mom. These two movies somehow make me feel really humble inside. I feel so blessed to have the life God has given me and I thank him for it everyday. I am so glad that I have my family to run back to when i'm scared, afraid, alone, sad, angry, content, etc. I don't know my destiny just yet but I know I am destined for greatness...just call me chaiwallah...with my family behind me I can do anything.
UCI TEACH math and science RA training started this week and I am so happy about the team. we have 3 returners, a past participant who happens to be one of our favorite participants, Janet Lee an amazing spop staffer, and Lupe the quiet girl who will be doing amazing things for this program. Summer has been great so far. What's even better knowing that I will be 21 in a few short weeks!!!
until next time...Jai Ho!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
wrapping up the year
I finished finals as of 3pm today and the feeling is bittersweet.
I am so glad to be rid of those stressors in my life that don't even test knowledge or understanding, just how much adderall one must pop in order to remember 10 weeks worth of information in only a few hours. Finals went well this time around....thats the first time I can say that in the 9 weeks i have done finals that I have ever said that. I'm glad they are over though and I am glad I did well...but the relief of finals being over also means the end of this Crazy, Unforgettable, Dramatic, Fun, Legit, Stressful, Emotional Year!
Although I am ready and excited to be an RA for my own hall and have 80 kids of my own but I am so sad to be leaving this year behind. I'm sad that the RAs whom I got to work with, laugh with, chill with, stay up til ridiculous hours of the night with are all leaving, most are graduating and moving onto bigger and better things. I'm losing 2 of my best friends next year. 2 of my rocks in housing and it really sucks having that thought that at the end of OUR summer OUR housing adventure will officially come to a close.
I can't even think of myself as a Senior next year, although I am staying a 5th year, next year marks the start of being OLD! This type of Seniority is nothing like Senior Year in High School. It's the sense of truly starting life, venturing off into the real world without a bubble, my bubble.
for a year, my 2 rocks have been my bubble, my protection, my brothers, best friends. They are both leaving me, I'm scared...actually TERRIFIED is more like it. I seriously don't know how I am going to make it through this RA experience without them; without their guidance, wisdom, love, support, and energy. It's so hard to think about. Going into this summer I want to be happy! I should be HAPPY! I'm turning 21, I'm living with my two best friends, I'm going to be an RA, I don't have any worries...I shouldn't have any worries and yet I still do! I dont want to go into this summer because I know it'll end and I know I'll be forced to be independent.
Losing fun moments and memories is always bittersweet. It'll be interesting to see where this road takes me. I'm for sure going to miss the hookah, the laughs, the talks, the bonding, and the brotherhood!
Happy Summer...Jai Ho!
I am so glad to be rid of those stressors in my life that don't even test knowledge or understanding, just how much adderall one must pop in order to remember 10 weeks worth of information in only a few hours. Finals went well this time around....thats the first time I can say that in the 9 weeks i have done finals that I have ever said that. I'm glad they are over though and I am glad I did well...but the relief of finals being over also means the end of this Crazy, Unforgettable, Dramatic, Fun, Legit, Stressful, Emotional Year!
Although I am ready and excited to be an RA for my own hall and have 80 kids of my own but I am so sad to be leaving this year behind. I'm sad that the RAs whom I got to work with, laugh with, chill with, stay up til ridiculous hours of the night with are all leaving, most are graduating and moving onto bigger and better things. I'm losing 2 of my best friends next year. 2 of my rocks in housing and it really sucks having that thought that at the end of OUR summer OUR housing adventure will officially come to a close.
I can't even think of myself as a Senior next year, although I am staying a 5th year, next year marks the start of being OLD! This type of Seniority is nothing like Senior Year in High School. It's the sense of truly starting life, venturing off into the real world without a bubble, my bubble.
for a year, my 2 rocks have been my bubble, my protection, my brothers, best friends. They are both leaving me, I'm scared...actually TERRIFIED is more like it. I seriously don't know how I am going to make it through this RA experience without them; without their guidance, wisdom, love, support, and energy. It's so hard to think about. Going into this summer I want to be happy! I should be HAPPY! I'm turning 21, I'm living with my two best friends, I'm going to be an RA, I don't have any worries...I shouldn't have any worries and yet I still do! I dont want to go into this summer because I know it'll end and I know I'll be forced to be independent.
Losing fun moments and memories is always bittersweet. It'll be interesting to see where this road takes me. I'm for sure going to miss the hookah, the laughs, the talks, the bonding, and the brotherhood!
Happy Summer...Jai Ho!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
On My Own
This year is coming to a close and as I sit here in the Student Staff Lounge in Mesa Court, I reminisce about the trials and tribulations I have had this past year. I think about the freindships I have made, the experiences I got to share, the rewards, the drama, but most of all the Love.
This year was tough, not as tough as my 2nd year, but tough in the sense of finding that balance between, leader, coworker, friend, employee, brother, newbie. I got to do what I love doing [planning, programming, working with people, laughing, making memories...the whole shebang] and I am so excited to come back and do it all over again!
Next year will be missing a crucial element in my staffing experience, two of my best friends on staff, my two "older brothers". They are graduating this year and although we have the summer together are ultimately moving on with their lives to pursue bigger and better things. Thinking about this year ending means that a new one will start with me alone to head my own hall, meet new people, make new friendships, and maintain only memories of the year I had.
I think I have been really good up until now keeping in my fears, sadness, and emotions. I know that they are going through a lot and knowing that I'm here scared shitless to move on without them would probably not help. It hit me hard this past weekend when I was setting things up for Senior Week. Picking up my BB's letters and making his paddle was tough because it really meant I was going to have to say goodbye. Spending those hours in Target walking around and around that store trying to creatively whip something meaningful out of nothing was relaxing yet agonizing. I didn't want to do it but I knew I had to. I had to think of something special for the both of them to show my appreciation. Writing their send off letters and setting up their dinner just added more to my bottling.
I'm going to miss my brothers so much. Although we are friends, I have always seen them as my brothers; taking care of me, looking out for me, teasing me, loving me, advising me, mentoring me, just being there for ME. I have no idea what I'm going to do without them next year. I know it's my turn to have my own hall, to make my own mistakes and to learn from them, but it's so scary to think about venturing off into a reality where they won't be there to make sure I'm okay.
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