Exhausted...the good kind!

They never told me how hard this was going to be, how time consuming, how much of myself i would be investing, how much of myself i would be losing...I'm tired all the time. If I'm in the hall I'm focused on them, If I'm out of the hall I'm feeling guilty for not being there for them or being their with them.

I told myself that it's not going to be SPOP mode 24/7/365, that i wouldnt let it consume me! boy was i wrong! i find that i'm less of myself alone and more whole knowing that i have 80 of the greatest residents anyone could ask for to come back to. they dont know it because i havent told them but these 80 people give me purpose, drive, and life! i love my job because i love my residents!

My days have so far consisted of waking up at 9 to get ready for school, class all day, squeeze some study time in there, do work, hang out, SigEp stuff, RA stuff, back to hall stuff and homework.

I was feeling guilty for not being able to hang out with my residents as much do to transitions, RA duties, and SigEp commitments. In the beginning I was overwhelmed and I really struggled to balance everything.

My resies are always on my mind. I havent gone to bed before 3am in a long time and i'm not sure if thats healthy but honestly if i'm not physically with my residents i'm thinking about them. and its hard to not be physically with them because they are awake ALL the TIME!

I told myself that this year wouldnt be like SPOP but in all honesty it has been and 10 times more! the energy, time, effort, atmosphere, and all around love brings me back to the good ol spop days, its the duty, the talks about life and advice giving, programming, the constant worry for health n safety is what makes this job real; what makes it challenging; and what makes it WORTH IT!
Selva 2009-2010
THE BEST HALL IN MESA COURT
let the good times roll